The Ethics of Visiting Graves

Death has to come and it is a fact that cannot be refuted. It is Fardh-e-Kifaayah to bury the deceased. The place where a person is buried is called the "Qabar" or grave and the place of burial for many people is called "Qabristaan" or graveyard. A graveyard always reminds one of death and of meeting with the Creator.
After death, every person has to be buried accordingly. This is the final level on earth and the first step towards the Hereafter. To visit the graveyard is the Sunnah of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). When visiting the graveyard, one should first make Salaam and then make Du'a for the deceased. In this era it is totally forbidden for women to visit the graves or Mazaars. She is only allowed to visit the Roza Mubarak of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) because it is close to Waajib and a means of great blessing.

It is also necessary to respect the graveyard. To sit, sleep or lean against the grave is unethical. It is not allowed for one to jump over graves. To place your feet (walk) on a grave is totally wrong. It is also forbidden to perform Salaah in the direction of a grave and to make Sajdah on a grave is Haraam. To make Sajdah to a grave is Kufr. However, to touch the grave of parents and saints (and to kiss their hands) is allowed and a means of great blessings. This is an action of love and respect.

In the grave, Munkar and Nakir ask three questions to the deceased. The first question concerns Allah. The second concerns the Deen and the third concerns Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). In the grave the deceased is blessed with the Ziyaarah of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). If the person had been pious in his or her life, then the grave becomes a garden, but if not, then the grave becomes a fire from Hell. In the grave there is mercy and torment.

To place the Shajrah and Ahad Nama, etc. in the grave is allowed. To also place flowers or green plants on a grave is permissable. It is the Sunnah of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). It is also permissable to put water on the grave. This act benefits the deceased since fresh flowers and plants recite the Tasbih. To give Azaan at the grave-side after burial is permissable and a means of great blessings.